Tuesday, October 6, 2015

"Something Blue" Bridal Shower Gift

There's a special kind of joy when one of your {all-grown up} girls you taught years ago in Young Womens gets married. 

I mean, yeah - you feel old. 

And sure, maybe a bit hesitant to lavish her in ALL THINGS SEDUCTION at a Bridal Shower because is that too weird? That Sister Wisor, who so adamantly advised in her Sunday lessons to "keep your panties on", is now advocating anything but?

Long story short: I got over it.

Until.

Several people close to both the bride *and* groom's family gave me the ix-nay on any gifts related to ex-say. Apparently not EVERYONE thinks it's fun to talk about/purchase things for activities that happen in the bedroom. Especially when the gift would be opened at a couples shower, which meant MEN would be there and they might...I dunno...get the crazy idea that this sweet girl might get naked with her husband at some point in their marriage?  Truly scandalous.

So, in the spirit of making grandmothers happy, I conceded.

Such a shame. How awesome would this be for their guest room, no? From here.

While perusing the non-provocative section at Marshalls, this clearance box called my name in a non-sultry voice. Aqua blue is the bride-to-be's favorite color, making this a great start.



Plus ZEBRAS(!!!) on the inside. Too whore-ish?



The aqua theme continued with other practical, conservative kitchen gadgets a timid, long-skirted, no-cleavage wife could put to good use in a kitchen where husband and wife never have relations on the floor. Or countertops.


A layer of tissue paper and then they all went to bed got tucked into the box.


It was then that a part of my soul died. Reigning in passion and keeping things above the belt had resulted in the most freaking boring gift on the planet. 

THIS WOULD NEVER DO.

As per always, embellishments to the rescue. A little stroking makes everything feel better. Ahem.


When she opened the gift, did she have to read the tags out loud for all to hear? Nope.



But she knew.

Like a lil' wink from me to her that nobody else had to see, saying
"GET YOU SOME, MISS ELIZA."

Rawr.


15 comments:

  1. Boo to people taking the fun out of things! Yay for still getting a little innuendo in there. High five for adding even more fabulous wrapping INSIDE the gift. Three for three! :)

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    1. Amen! And apparently it doesn't work anyway. Forbidding fun just forces us to get creative...wink wink...

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  2. You are just too funny! I love how you got that bit of sexy into this gift. Sometimes people just need to lighten up and have fun. Dag nab it, those darn men having to be there! LOL, like they wouldn't get a laugh out of it all anyway.
    As for that feeling old thing, here's a story for you. I was in CVS one day and the cashier said to me, is your name Kristie? Used to be Backstrom? I said yes and she said "I'm Jeannie" OMGoodness! I used to babysit this grown woman of about 50 yrs of age! I couldn't believe my eyes, yes she was about 50 yrs old. Boy did I feel old hearing that, but you know what, the sad thing is that she looks older than I do and as mean as it sounds, that made me feel better.

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    1. On the bright side, even if that makes you "old", you were obviously still young looking enough that she recognized you all these years later! That's so crazy!!!

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  3. I need that sign for the kids room!

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    1. You missed a *lovely* conversation on FB about all the places this sign needed to go. May have gotten a little out of control, but I can assure you that KIDS ROOM didn't make the list. You're dirtier than us all!! ;)

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    2. Maybe I should clarify, since it sounds all sorts of wrong. We slept n their room before J was born because the master got flooded. So there, I'm not so filthy after all!

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    3. Well poop. Now I'm a little disappointed...HAHAHA!

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  4. Bahahaha! You made my day! ....as I sit here in church trying not to think about dirty things. Oops. Side note: we went Washington, D.C. Last week and I saw a Potbellys restaurant and I HAD to go in and try it because of you. I totally fan girled it in the middle of 7th street and my husband jumped a little. "The blog I follow...Rebecca....she used to work here and it always sounded so good! We need to try it. Who cares that we just ate a full breakfast 20 minutes ago and it's only 9 am! We NEED it." So we did. And it was delicious. Chicken sub and the most delicious oatmeal chocolate chip cookie that rocked my world.

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    1. I encourage both dirty thoughts during church AND Potbelly!! HAHA!! My husband and daughter were both in DC last week too...they came home telling me about 50 degree temperatures and rain trying to make me jealous...totally worked :) And now you're making me NEED a oatmeal chocolate chip cookie! I hope your experience was fabulous!!

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  5. Omgosh, I soooo needed this post (and laugh) today! My week has been the worst and has the potential to go downhill. Thanks again, you're the best...in a virtual friend kinda way ;)

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    1. What an honor to be able to "help" :) Hope this weekend is filled with nothing but relaxing - you deserve it!!

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  6. This is very funny. It only shows how creative you are. Keep posting and sharing because we love your sense of humor.

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  7. Your ideas are fantastic dear and I truly agree with you here. I am going to attend a small pre-wedding party of my friend at Los Angeles event venues and I will consider a gift like this for her.

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