Friday, May 1, 2015

Trigger Words

They're an ongoing joke at our house.

So imagine the effort it took to conceal my smile when this was among the "homework" pile that somebody brought home from the hospital.

(He was just discharged and we are SO HAPPY. And tentative and apprehensive and cautious. But mostly HAPPY.)

{those lighter circles are photoshopped out signatures he was practicing}

He had to identify his triggers - or things that cause him to rage - on a scale of 1 to 10.

1. Being weird ("when other people are you, Mom. You're usually weird.")

2. A friend being sick

3. Being left out

4. People annoying me --> crossed out and changed to --> Having a stuffy nose (understandably more irritating)

5. Getting bad grades

6. Someone dieing

7. Not being cool (worse than someone dying)

8. Not being able to watch YouTube (a consequence of bad behavior)

9. Jealousy

10. Mouth noises (or any other number of Brendan's stim behaviors)

He said that the counselor left more room between 9 and 10 as there was likely a couple of things that were that severe.

"It still wasn't enough room for all the things I could think of that were almost the I made tally marks instead."


What are your triggers?

{mine are science fair, laundry, whats-for-dinner, summer, cat litter, making appointments...}

P.S I can never thank you enough for all of the love and support that came through in your comments on the last post. I know we aren't alone in this struggle. I know we can get through this. I also know that to pretend you're strong when you don't feel strong at all is against my DNA. Every single prayer was felt, my friends. There is no other explanation for the peace that has enveloped our family.


  1. I'm so glad he's home! That's awesome!
    My triggers are: Some tiny person throwing food on the floor while looking directly at me, a tiny person waking up from her nap after only 45mins, a husband not coming directly to the table when I say dinners ready, automated choices on the telephone.
    I'm sure there's heaps more! And I don't consider myself an angry person! :)

    1. Don't even get me STARTED on family members - that tell me they will surely die of hunger if dinner isn't done instantly - magically disappearing minutes later when it's ready. I keep threatening to get a dinner bell...and then realize that replacing one trigger with another (kids perpetually ringing the bell) wouldn't accomplish much of anything.

  2. Glad you have all your brood home now. We all have triggers. Mine is when my hubby eats raw garlic then comes to bed. Or is loud at bed time (I'm a light sleeper). Or when my puppy asks to go out during potty training not because he has to go but because he wants to dig holes in the yard. Hmmm, apparently we all have issues.

  3. Oh yeah... my triggers are loud, rude people... noisy food chewing... mean folks...

  4. I read his paper before I read your transcription and I thought "someone dieing" was "someone dieting", which would be totally awesome. And the perfect excuse to never diet, right? And I'm so happy that your family is whole again. And YES to saying dinner is ready and then WAITING FOR PEOPLE TO COME. Seriously. Other triggers? Complete entitlement of large children expecting me to adjust to their schedule and chauffeur them wherever they think they need to be. Glacially slow hymns (seriously, my kids now get out their metronome apps just to see HOW annoyed I am). The dog barking for no reason whatsoever. The little impossible to get up spots all over the kitchen floor WHENEVER they have ANYTHING with chocolate chips in it, because apparently they are only capable of eating walking around the kitchen.

    1. HYMN SPEED!!! For the love of all that is holy. Literally, in this case. Any time I have to play in church the chorister gets a heads up that this bus waits for no one. Better to be guilty of rushing things a bit than starting verse 4 of "I Believe in Christ" 12 minutes later.

      P.S Sounds like our dogs are from the same litter. The last time she ran down the street and refused to come back, I screamed after her that she had made her choice and not to bother returning home. Unfortunately, she did. But the house was nice and quiet for 10 minutes...

  5. "Peace that has enveloped in our family", what a wonderful thing to hear! I'm so happy for you & the fam. I hope & pray it continues for all of you. As far as triggers go... someone sending you cookies from Australia?! I will have to one up that next time & just send myself in a box. Imagine opening up a big ol box of me! Exciting, I know. Hot weather - we need to move. The panic attacks I get when my kids have panic attacks - vicious cycle. People talking about my kids when A. They themselves don't have kids, B. Theirs are not perfect & C. They themselves have no idea what goes on behind the scenes with my preciously special children. Phew, that felt good! Kinda like a mini therapy session. We should do this again soon!

    1. I would be THRILLED to open a box of my Kristi!!!

      And then we can hang out and you can listen to all the comments/unsolicited advice about how to properly raise teenagers. Luckily (?) I'm a horrible person and don't really care about other people's opinions. 'Specially those who didn't raise little people in this technology-laden, parent-guilted, ridiculous society that we are immersed in. Some of the best parents I know have ended up with less than "perfect" children, and vice versa. There is no one-size-fits-all parenting...that would make it too easy :)

  6. Sounds like things around your place are getting much better. I'm reading and commenting on your posts in order, so keep that in mind. LOL. Trigger points? Hmmmm, people who call my hubby on the phone when they know it's dinner time, one friend does it at least a few times a week. Hubby taking forever to get to the dinner table when I say it's ready, my daughter breaking up with her boyfriend, but not really breaking up, because she is still seeing him even though he is a cheating rat, people telling me I am diet wrong, I have to lose about 25 lb in one, yes one month so I can have a hip replacement. Everyone seems to know that it isn't possible and tells me so and that I am going about it in the wrong way, but I have lost half of it in 2 weeks, so poo to you is what I have to say. I could go on, but I won't a lot of things are just annoying me right now because I'm having so much trouble with this darn hip and I hate being on such a strict diet. Can't wait till June 1st and I'll get me a new hip and so much will be better. I just keep saying This too shall pass!

    1. TWENTY FIVE pounds in a MONTH??!! Oh Kristie, I wouldn't even know how to start. Even if you don't eat anything at all for 30 days, how is that even possible? Praying that you can keep up your momentum for the next two weeks! Come on new hip!!!

    2. Saw my primary today and I've lost 17 lb and need to lose 8 more by June 1st. I can do this. Told my hubby, the weekend before surgery we are going out for a nice dinner, then I'll get back on the wt lose track, but just not at strict. It's been tough, keeping to a 1000 calorie diet, but pain is a great motivator.


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