Monday, November 17, 2014

38

Things currently swirling around in my head as I turn one year older:

1. I used to think that older folks "forgot" how old they were because they were either embarrassed or in denial. And then this year happened, where I couldn't remember how old I am without doing the math, and subsequently have been telling people "38" for at least 6 months. Which tells you that math wasn't my best subject.

2. I've never been into watercolors (too delicate), but this "watercolor" wrapping paper is rocking my world.

from here - although if you paid that much for paper, how could you ever actually use it?

3. Cherry Limeade from Sonic used to be my favorite, but then I tried the Strawberry. Now I can't switch back.


4. Sierra was horrified last week when she realized that all "her" car dance moves look just like mine.


5. She also laughed remembering driving around with my sister back on our California trip and how she saw her do the EXACT SAME MOTIONS AT THE EXACT SAME PLACE in a song that came on the radio. "It's like you and Aunt Liz are the same person." Can't fight nature (nurture?)


6. My youngest sits down at the back desk to do his homework every day. A few days ago I went to get an envelope from the drawer and saw this:

Instead of a tissue, just wipe your boogers on furniture. As one does.

7. He was sent to clean up the mess, and after coming in and proclaiming that the green scrubby sponge wouldn't budge the fossilized snot, he took a (steak) knife to help loosen things up. "You'll have to fix the paint...it kinda left a mark."




8. Please tell me when this "bootie" fad will go away. You know those shoes that are half boots/half stupid? I didn't like them in the 80's, I don't like them now. They are dumb. Please stop taking photos of them and clogging up instagram. Also, enough with the scarves already. They are and always will be something that your preppy sister (love you, Khristie!) and mother wore in 1991.

{cruise photo where I made my mom so happy by not wearing black lipstick, if only for an evening}

9. Speaking of fashion and instagram, I hereby confess that I unfollowed someone this week after she captioned a photo of her wearing colored pants, saying something about needing to donate them because they aren't in style anymore. Is this actually a thing? You buy something because everyone is wearing it, and then a year later you can't wear it anymore? I cannot subscribe to such nonsense.

10. 98% of the time I come home empty handed after attempting to buy clothes because I can't find anything that I like. Roger calls it picky, I call it CLASSIC. Get what you like and it'll work forever.

(which prolly just means it was never in style in the first place. Make me care.)

My sisters wedding in 2003. First of all, only four babies! Second of all, that 11 year old skirt gets worn to work all the time.

11. All this "can you believe how ugly the people's clothes are nowadays" ranting confirms that I am making the transition into an old, crummudgeny woman quite seemlessly.




12. Cold weather has officially arrived, marking the end of the annual Summer Slump. Imagine how validating it was to read this study and discover that I'm not alone. Yes, there is such a thing as reverse SAD. Maybe it comes from growing up in Fresno, one of the sunniest places on the planet?

13. Although I hate all things scary, gory, and gross, Halloween is my jam. It's one of the only times of year you can dress up and it not be frowned upon as childish. At least out loud. When I am an old woman, I will have a whole closet devoted to a menagerie of wigs. The style for the day will depend on my mood and it will be SO FUN. And yes, that jet black bob from that cruise photo above will be one of them. Until then, there is always October 31st.

Unicorn + jersey = Fantasy Football

14.  Nobody else in my office dressed up.


15. I don't drink, but am dying over these wine bottle Ugly Christmas Sweater "outfits" at World Market.


They have a flapper and zoot suit version too. How could you ever choose??




And now...my birthday request of you. An informal poll, if you will.

It has come to my attention that not all girls take the same amount of time to get ready for the day (Allison).

Turns out I was delusional in thinking that my 28 minute rolling-out-of-bed to rolling-out-of-the-driveway morning schedule was more or less average, but come to find out that's quick? Or maybe it just depends on who you're asking. So I am. Asking, that is. It's little tidbits of information like this about people that fascinate me. Indulge me and give me a peek into your life. Taking a shower, blow drying your hair, putting makeup on - the whole shebang. How long does it take?





56 comments:

  1. About a half hour. So about the same as you!

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  2. LOL, I just turned 59 (how did that happen?) and agree with nearly all your points. I like scarves. Missed them the first time around. To answer your question, it takes me an hour to roll out and get out the door IF I actually put on makeup and blow dry or roll my hair. You see, at 59, I could care less about makeup and have decided that rolling often makes my hair look worse.

    Oh and your desk.... you have my sympathy.

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    1. My mom is turning 58 next month, and I can PROMISE you that she didn't miss them. I still remember the hangers full of them crammed into the closet :)

      That 28 minutes is for a regular work/church day. I can't imagine taking the time (and effort) to roll my hair...if there was enough of it to roll - HA! I don't blame you one bit. Saturday's are about two minutes - put on a bra, brush my teeth, and throw on a baseball cap, Always keeping it classy...

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  3. I argued with my doctor last January about my age. I pegged myself for a year older than I was ~ I was completely convinced I was 38. She kept telling me that the computer can make mistakes but not typically regarding age. I did the math when she left the room and had to admit I was wrong when she came back in. Ultimately age is just a number and I am not terribly affected by it :)

    25-30 minutes to roll out of bed, shower, make-up and hair.....if the kids aren't interrupting, which is seldom.

    Oh and your poor desk!!!!

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    1. HAHAHA!! Bravo to you for not only being humble but ALSO going to the doctor. I can only muster up the courage to set an appointment about every 7 years because I'm a big baby.

      The desk will survive. It's my gag reflex that was the biggest concern ;)

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  4. I had a freebie year one year because in my mind I was 38 for my entire year of 37. Imagine my surprise when I turned 38 and realized my mistake! Thankfully it wasn't the other way around. ha!

    Curly hair= 30 min; Straight hair= 45 min

    Happy Birth!!

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    1. Exactly!! We both totally wasted our 37th years :)

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  5. Always enjoy your wit and perspective Rebecca, this post was a hoot ... I wish I could find the humor and joy you apparently see in everything! On the topic of time to get out the door ... it all depends on if I've done my pre-work and am up on my maintenance ... day that my hair isn't way past due for a cut AND I don't have to wash it AND I've already thought about my clothing for the day, I could do that in 30'ish mins ... but not from feet on the floor out of bed to out of door, the timer is only for "getting ready" not breakfast, cleanup and everything else that happens. Now if I have to deal with my hair and the whole shebang, well, 60+ minutes. And my husband would emphasize the "plus".

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    1. YES! I should've put an asterisk for the "already thought about the clothing." I think my hormones are puttering away earlier than they should, because I'm either freezing to death or sweating profusely just moments out of the shower...and then have to figure out what to wear accordingly. "Those sleeves don't roll up/that cardigan makes me sweat/if I start shivering that's not going to disguise my cold bosoms". Staring blankly into the closet adds a good 20 minutes!

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  6. I had this awesome comment, and it got deleted! Dumb! Here is the short version 31.4 min ;)

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    1. Probably got eaten by a rat. BAHAHAHAHA.

      (You know I can't resist, sister.)

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  7. I shower at night. And if I'm going to straighten my hair, I do it then too. In the morning, I get up, brush my teeth, potty, get dressed, put on a minimal amount of makeup, fix hair to make it presentable, and go. The whole thing takes 10-15 minutes and I'm out the door.

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    1. Ten minutes sounds heavenly! Even if I shower at night, I have to get my hair wet again in order to fix it. Short hair = schizophrenic bedhead that brushing alone can't fix. Messy on purpose and messy from sleeping on it are two completely different things :) If I was as gorgeous as you, my darling, minimal makeup would be sufficient!

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  8. Wake up 5:45 - out the door 6:50! 10 minutes after shower spent wrapped up in robe, playing on phone - pondering life - I call it dry time!

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  9. Happy Birthday! Thirty minutes if I get to take a normal shower.

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    1. Do I even dare ask what a normal shower is? Since I'm about 30 minutes, I must be taking one too..I think??

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  10. I ditch clothing only when it no longer fits...and that's probably long after it doesn't fit or look flattering. Otherwise, I don't care how old it is. I have vintage clothing older than me. I've been wearing the same outfit for several days. I do my hair in the morning, only because it sticks up in the back and looks like Alfalfa if I don't. If I'm leaving the house and feel like I need a shower, it takes me about 20 minutes to get ready.

    Those wine outfits are hilarious.

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    1. Amen! And "not fitting" is completely subjective, especially if it's something I love. Or a dress in the thrift store that I *fall* in love with that's only $2.97 and ALLLLLLLMOST zips all the way up. That's what cardigans are made for anyways, right? To cover up "almosts". Hypothetically speaking.

      P.S Alfalfa hair is my favorite.

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  11. Usually up bright and early, but then put off "getting ready" until I have no choice but to get it done in 28 minutes or less.

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    1. If you get ready too early, you're bound to spill something on your blouse anyway. You're just being practical. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

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  12. Happy Birthday! One hour for me, from start to finish. A bit longer if it's a special occasion.

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    1. You're not alone. About an hour is the consensus from a lot of ladies that I know. Maybe I'm only doing half of what I'm supposed to be doing? ;)

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  13. Happy Birthday - enjoyed the post! 1 hour start to finish including a dog walk. :-)

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    1. Well now you're just bragging - HA! Maybe my dog would stay outta my way if I walked her first?

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  14. It all depends how I do my hair. If I'm in a rush, and want quick - it's curly hair. That takes about 15 minutes from the time I'm out of the shower, to the time I'm rushing to finish make up.

    What I prefer is straight hair, and that takes a lot long. First I have to blow dry it into a beautiful do, then I have to straighten it to perfect it. That, from start to finish, is about 45 minutes? That includes make up too.

    When I'm feeling extra fancy, I'll take time to put lotion on. That's a rare treat, that makes me feel so much better than not.

    The shower itself can take anywhere from 3 minutes (oh crap! I'm out of time and I have to get the kids to school) or 20 minutes if I want to stand there and do nothing....

    So, there you have it. :)

    Happy 38th Birthday! Love your Halloween outfit!

    Carrie...

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    1. Don't even get me started on the "stand there and do nothing" showers. They are a rare occurrence, which is probably a good thing, as you tend to enter a time warp reality where what seems like 10 minutes under the water is really 30. H E A V E N.

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  15. O.k... since you asked.... I shower at night, so that's one thing I don't have to worry about. I only wash my hair once a week, either while the baby is sleeping or Skyping with the French on a weekend, and technically I think I've by-passed getting ready altogether at the moment. I manage to put clothes on and check that theres no smudged mascara from that time I made an effort. Before baby, it was half an hour to sit on the couch with a cup of tea and toast and not talk to anyone, then half an hour for teeth, clothes, make up and hair.
    Now when I actually make my self presentable I do it in stages. If I'm going out at 6:30pm, it's not unusual for me to be doing my make up at 2pm during a nap. That's purely so I can enjoy the process, and being vain as I am, I like to draw it out!

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    1. JEALOUS. I know they say that the more you wash your hair, the more oil it creates but no. Just no. My greasy hair can barely last 8 hours touching my oily face without clumping something awful. When it was really long years ago I would use Dawn for underneath (use what you've got, baby) because nothing else could cut through that ick. Now with the hard core product I use that flakes like mad if you don't start from scratch each morning, my husband would leave me if I shifted to weekly.

      Those baby days will soon be a distant memory...pretty sure there was a good 8 years where a shower AND mascara meant the universe had aligned perfectly.

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  16. Oh shit! And Happy Birthday! I hope the coming year is totally brilliant x

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    1. It's the year of the clutch - I can feel it!!!

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    2. From your keyboard to Gods ears! Lol :)

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  17. 30 minutes max and I am an exec of a Fortune 500. Seriously I think only celebrities waste that time primping because looks are part of their job. The rest of us gals have more important $h*t to do. Happy Anniversary of your 21st birthday!

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    1. Even with the right paycheck, I'm not convinced that I could spend that long in front of the mirror. Luckily that theory will never have to be tested!! ;)

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  18. Monday - Friday: Up at 5:30 to shower, make-up, hair, and dress. Out the door at 7:15
    Saturday & Sunday: Hair in a hat, no make-up, and that's IF I even leave the house.
    In my defense for taking SO freaking long Monday - Friday, my hair takes up about 80% of time getting ready as I was cursed (blessed?) with extremely thick and curly-ish long hair. I'd cut it, but my chub face doesn't allow for it. So I take the time to blow it straight just about every day.

    Happy Birthday! If it makes you feel better I turned 33 in January and for the last year I have either forgotten my age or, when asked, told people I am 34. My husband finally corrected me about a month ago. Just in time for me to turn 34 in two months.

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    1. I chopped mine off long before (pun intended) the chub face began, so that crisis was averted.

      I do remember blow drying taking for-freaking-ever, and although I never had to straighten it, trying to create body and volume in do-nothing-but-just-hang-there hair probably took just as long. And then the curls would fall right out. Leave the house on Sunday morning with bouncy locks, only to have it back to stick straight by the time we'd pull into the church parking lot. Sounds like either way, you're doomed. Is this the place where we say that boys have it so easy? Sheesh.

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  19. Happy Birthday!

    It takes me about 40-45 minutes to go from bed to out the door. I shower at night and lay out my clothes, so this helps a lot. The 40-ish minutes incudes: hair- I have long, thick hair, makeup, dressed, making sure my 8 year old is up dressed (the most challenging part of the morning-by far!) and groomed, making beds and preparing/eating breakfast. If I shower in the morning, add another 10 minutes (include both shower and a We don't play at 5:45 am. When it's just me, it's about 30 minutes tops. I roll into work by 7 am.

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    1. Making beds AND eating breakfast? You're an overachiever for sure! :)

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  20. Hey you could use those wine bottle dress ups on your dish soap bottle. I think it would be cute and put a smile on your face as you do the dishes.

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    1. Oh Mylanta - you're BRILLIANT!!! I wonder how well flapper pearls and dish soap mix...

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  21. My hair needs straightened to look presentable. I also have more hair than Oprah. So I definitely don't wash it + flat iron every day, or I'd go insane. If it's a wash hair day? 60-90 min. If it's every other day, 30 seconds.

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    1. If my hair had any sort of curl, I would so thrilled and never straighten it. ESPECIALLY if it meant committing that much time. Unless you can do it at night while watching Netflix??

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  22. OMG I AM DYING LAUGHING ABOUT THE DESK (#6 &7 ABOVE).....SORRY but its the funniest thing I have read and seen in a long time!!!

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    1. It's all fun and games until you check the wall by his bed and realize that the desk wasn't the only victim.

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  23. 4AM Get up, wash face, put contacts in. Get dressed to exercise with dog. Let dog out of crate, watch her 'stretch and wiggle' for a minute. Put shoes on, coat, get water, mace, hat with light on it. Walk for 30 minutes. Get back home, grab newspaper on way in. Make coffee every few days---I drink the pot til it's gone!----feed dog, put ice in water for her. 3 days a week----make scrambled eggs. 2 days a week---eat rice checks. Read paper (I use the term 'read' loosely) while eating breakfast. I like to be done eating at 5AM. Take coffee into family room and watch the news while drinking coffee for about 15 minutes, play with dog. Take shower and/or wash hair. Make 2 kid lunches 3 times a week, my lunch 5 times a week. Get all of school stuff together in school bag. Head upstairs. Brush teeth, dry hair. Get dressed. Put face on (5-7 minutes?) Get boys out of bed and send them downstairs to eat. Fix hair (5-7 minutes). Fix curly headed 10 year old's hair. Yell at boys to get dressed and get their stuff in backpack. Finish coffee, make sure I have everything. Say adios to boys and husband-----6:20. Drive 20 minutes to school to educate the world. :)

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    1. JANET - 4AM?!! I'm a morning person but DANG GIRL. That would last three days tops before I got too cranky and irritable to integrate with society. My hubby usually gets home late at night from work, so I guess I'd never see him - bedtime would have to be way before 11pm :) Please tell me that you sleep in on the weekends???

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    2. Well, I certainly try to! Today I got up at 6:45. Unfortunately, you get used to getting up early and the boys get up early as they finally have electronic privileges, and the dog comes running up to see me after the boys let her out, so 7 is about the latest. I do love a good nap!!!!!! And the latest I can stay up during the week is 10. The things we women do!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  24. Oh my!!! I have so much I could say about this post! Too many things in common here, even if I am an old woman and you aren't. Speaking of that, here's my birthday story. Last year I turned 58, when we went to dinner to celebrate my b-day, my hubby told the waitress that I had just turned 68! He continued it ALL. YEAR. LONG. A couple weeks ago, I turned 59, we go out to dinner, he tells the waitress that I turned 49! He has decided that this year he is turning it back 10 yrs! I told him not to tell waitresses that or I won't get my senior discount! See even with him subtracting 10 yrs, I'm still a lot older than you are. LOL!

    I love the random thoughts! Very interesting what's floating around inside your head. I love the fantasy football costume, very clever! The desk with the boggies? Yikes! I'm telling my friend to come check out this post, she was just posting today on facebook asking how one can get on the honor roll and still wipe boogers on the wall? I think you have some things in common! That might just be BOYS!
    The music really does just suck!
    And for your poll, well I'm with you, I can be up, wash my hair, brush my teeth whatever else and out the door in less than 1/2 hr. Of course I have very short straight hair that doesn't need anything but a comb run through it and I don't wear make up, so that makes a difference.
    Oh and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

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    1. Sounds like your husband is a HOOT!! I can only imagine that they must have thought you looked AMAZING for 68 :)

      Tell your friend that her walls have my condolences. There are so many icky things that come with the boy territory, I hope that I don't have to discover all of them first hand. Sometimes it's just better not to know... HA!

      Thanks for the birthday wishes- it was an awesome day.

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  25. I am SO with you on #12! I live in SoCal and the temps hover around 100° for at least a few months in the summer. I am so happy when the temps start cooling down!

    As for getting ready, I get up at 3:30 AM and am out the door by 4:20ish. That includes letting the dog out, showering, getting dressed, makeup, making the bed, getting lunch ready. [I leave my hair in the bun I slept in until I get to work, then run a brush through it. It never cooperates anyway, just hangs off my head all straight and stringy. I've given up fighting it and just let it hang. I save a ton of time that way.]

    Happy Belated Birthday!

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    1. I thought that SoCal was blessed with milder temps than we had in the Central Valley? In Fresno it usually hits 100 on Memorial Day and stays that way until Labor Day. I can't say that Texas is any cooler, but at least we have thunderstorms to break up the monotony of months and months of nothing but bright, cloudless days :)

      Also you're are killing me with the 3:30. CRAZY TALK. You know what the best antidote to straight, stringy hair that won't do anything but hang? CUT IT OFF. Ask me how I know...

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  26. OMG the desk. LOL sorry laughing at your pain and feel bad for you all at the same time.. and takes me 30-45 minutes generally but if I over sleep I can do it fifte
    Happy Belated birthday

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    1. The desk can't be that painful - I haven't fixed it yet. Hate to cover up a good story, right? :)

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  27. Yes I realize that I'm almost a year late...but I'm stalking your blog, so deal, sista! Happy belated! I'm 43, I think. I have to do the math all the time. I don't do scarves. They make my neck claustrophobic. That's a real condition, you know? The boogers on the desk made me laugh so hard I woke my husband up...did I mention he's on the second floor? And...my 11 year old takes about 30 minutes from the 27th time I call her name in the morning to the time we are actually walking out the door. She still hasn't discovered nice hair, makeup, rollers, etc. Me? Well, I get up at 5:35 and am ready for them by 6:00...so I guess 30 minutes? But...I put my makeup on in the car on my 20 minute drive to their school. You know you need a lot of time to create a masterpiece from a rag. :)

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    1. 1. It must be an 11 year old thing? But mine is a BOY...what is he doing? He can be first in the shower, first to get dressed, etc etc and STILL the one scrambling come time to leave. 'Tis a mystery and a source of eternal frustration.

      2. I cannot confirm or deny the scarf claustrophobia as I will never try. Ever. But I abhor turtlenecks for that very reason so your testimony must be true.

      3. That gouged up booger desk? One year later it looks exactly the same.

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