Friday, September 24, 2010

Dear Husband,

I know you had the best of intentions rescuing this dog from the pound, even after I said no. Twice. Yes, he's adorable, sweet and great with the kids, which is why I've lasted this long and endured stuff like destroying these. And his digging in the dirt so our floor looks like this. And him dragging out throw pillows, stuffed animals, shoes and maxi pads from the bathroom trash so our backyard looks like this.

I even chase after him when he bolts out the front door, even though what I really want is for him to keep running, until he's far, far away.

Since I haven't gotten to talk to you since you left for work this afternoon, let me give you a little taste of my evening. Or maybe I should put it this way:

This is the effect on your children (who are actual people who I love) when I have to run all over the freaking neighborhood chasing down that stupid STUPID dog (who is not a person and I don't). Or at least the condensed version:

- Brendan realizes that I'm not in the house and comes inside from pooping in the backyard.

- He freaks out, overpowers his brother who was put in charge on keeping an eye on him, and runs down the street in the opposite direction looking for me.

- With poop down his leg.

- And no pants on.

- 911 call placed.

- Returned home by officers after they found him a half mile away walking next to four lanes of traffic. So your beloved dog? Going back to the pound tomorrow.

I'm taking two tylenol PM, eating a(nother) bowl of ice cream, and I'll see you in the morning.

Love,

Your wife.

30 comments:

  1. The only thing that would make this the perfect day is if Brenden was wearing his "Poke Me" shirt! Was he? :) Sorry about the dang package!!!

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  2. Dear Brendan's father: you owe your wife a massage, and a day off of her feet with her every need taken care of! Cute puppy tho!!!

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  3. Oh no! That dog DOES have a cute little face but oh how I never want to own a dog. My poor Hubs had a St. Bernard once. Can you imagine the havoc one of those could wreak on my yard!

    Good luck. And I'm sorry that I laughed at your tale of woe. But I did.

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  4. Whoa, I don't blame you one bit for ingesting a(nother) bowl of ice cream :)

    What a day.

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  5. Yikes! It's all I've got. I hope today is better!

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  6. I think two tylenol pm and another bowl of ice cream was a good fix.

    I hope the big smiley faced waving as the dog and hubs pull out of the driveway seals the deal on a great day for you today! ;0)

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  7. OH WOW! I would do the absolute SAME thing. I love dogs--when they are OTHER PEOPLE'S DOGS. I never, ever want a dog of my own because guess who's gonna end up being the one taking care of it?? ME.

    Sorry to hear about your stressful fiasco.

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  8. Yeah, there are reasons that our first dog will also be our last. So sorry about your crazy day!

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  9. Here here. To the pound he goes. I can't believe you've put up with so much of that dogs sh** (literally) for as long as you have.
    PS. If it makes you feel better. I didn't laugh. It wasn't even funny. I'm steamed for you. Perhaps because this all hits to close to home.
    In my case though I own a gun and know how to use it. Christian keeps a close eye on our dog. It's a deal.

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  10. when are you coming over for chocolate? Brother Weiland is longing and yearing to draw pics for B Man.

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  11. Oh my! I was tempted to call about a german shepard puppy I saw in the paper today but your post took care of that (my husband thanks you!) I definitely think another bowl of ice cream is warrented.

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  12. This goes into my "Why I Hate Pets" file. What a big freaking mess. Feel free to add my name to your letter. Love, your wife and some girl you don't know

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  13. Seriously. I hate dogs. I finally shipped mine off to my in-laws where he is happily living far away from me. I have children (people I love), why do I need a perpetual toddler dog (who I don't love) who loves to shred dirty diapers all over the house? Yuck. I didn't laugh either, I feel your pain! Get rid of the dog!

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  14. Well, that's a dog that needs to learn how to play his cards right. He's cute... but the minute the fuzz gets involved, the game changes.

    Pack your toys, pup.

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  15. All I can say is Holy Canoodle! Bye, bye puppy! Wow! What a day! Here's to hopin' tomorrow is better!

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  16. Oh my goodness! I'm sorry, but I laughed out loud at your post. I love that you can keep a sense of humor through all this! You are an inspiration. An inspiration who definitely deserves another bowl of ice cream.

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  17. BAHAHAHAHAA! I laughed only cause I am reading and imagining your voice and the dramatics of Liz telling a story. LOL.. this is awesome, I want a dog, but not THAT bad.. I will have a bowl of icecream for you, and thats just cause it sounds good, not cause I feel bad hahaha! PS, I want some pics that brendan has drawn for my kids bathrooms. when we get a new house!

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  18. can't beleive nobody posted that they think returning a puppy to the pound after commiting to raising it is horrible.
    Buy a dog crate and train him right. lot less headaches that way.

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  19. Had I know this was happening I would have turned my web cam on for sure! ha ha

    Thanks again for stopping by my Popcorn. Lighted flowers. Do you think they're a bit too much? I have them on a timer and they glow every night. I'm sure I'm the only who notices!

    Have a great weekend! Keep posting these daily life stories, that are so funny.

    Lisa

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  20. Seriously LOVE dogs but I say "to the moon!!!" cute little thing! Oh and get a GALLON of ice cream!

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  21. I agree with Tammylee. Shouldn't you take some of the blame for leaving a small child in charge of another small child?

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  22. I agree with Tammylee and Ann. How many days would he wait in a wire cage next to other equally stressed dogs to be euthanized? Puppies are difficult, but with training they can be such great additions to a family. I don't blame you for wanting to vent though.

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  25. Emily-

    You should have left you comments there! Unless, of course, you were afraid that Tammylee and Ann were going to hunt you down. But you were right: dogs are God's most important creatures, and their needs should ALWAYS be put before the needs of the family - no matter what. ;)

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  26. Rebecca...just read this post. Can I just say, OH MY GOODNESS!!!! You are one amazing woman!! This blog must be some therapy for you...at least I hope it is.
    <-----HUGS----->
    Shawna

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  27. Just read this post and I'm with you. I don't care much for animals. Yes they're cute but they are hard to take care of. Kids are a lot of work already.

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  28. Dogs and kids are equal...they are both members of your family. Adopting a pet is a responsibility, just like having kids is. They are non-returnable. Perhaps some obedience classes for you and your pooch are in order. And yes, a crate for those time outs.

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  29. Dear older and wisor, I have spent the last hour rolling on the floor laughing. Now some may think it rude, but I am a mother of not one but 3 special needs children. One autistic, one brain injured and one that was diagnosed as(I am laughing so hard I cannot spell the word for high functioning autistic children who have OCD and hdhd). So you see I have had more than a few of your days like this day. It is somewhat refreshing to find someone who can relate and have a sense of humor at the same time. I just thought I would let you know that you made my day. Check my blog for some stories. I just started blogging and I am not nearly as funny as you are but I am sure we can relate. Jodis Jibber Jabber

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