Monday, March 16, 2009

Soul Mates

In the last few days, I've been thinkin'. About chemistry. No, not this kind. The relationship kind.

I love looking at married couples and trying to figure out what it was that brought the two of them together in the first place. A lot of times my oh so professional conclusion amounts to things like:

1. She likes money and he has it.

2. He's a bit...off, and she's not quite all there either.

3. She is so genuine, and he's the nicest guy you'll ever meet.

4. He can't keep his salty comments to himself, and she's isn't any better.

Okay, maybe that last one only applies in my relationship.

For as many times as I can put my finger on it, just as often I can't.

If you were to "plot" out (e-harmony style) someones personality, interests, hobbies, values, yada yada yada, is it always possible to pick a perfect match? I don't buy it. And now I'm starting to think that it crosses over the male / female aspect and into relationships in general.

Example:

In the last few years we've lived in a few different places. Aside from the obvious (physical) aspects of moving, it also means getting to know new people. That first Sunday at church is always fun...especially in hindsight. My husband would come home with a mental list of people that he predicted I'd be best buddies with. Perhaps it goes back to the ol' chemistry, or perhaps he really just sucks at "matchmaking", which is highly possible, but many of the people on that list never got to be more than just acquaintances. On the surface we may have clicked through age, number or kids, hobbies, or fashion sense (should I even add that ? I don't have any or give a flying leap about it) but somehow it just never actually "clicked." On paper we should've been soul mates, and yet somehow...nothing.

Of course, the most amusing part of that equation would be the flip side: the unexpected matches. The people that I would look at and think that I had absolutely nothing in common with. And then, within moments of a first conversation, I would feel like I had known forever. And then when I'd tell Roger about it he'd look confused and say, "Her? Really? I never would've seen that..."

Me either.

What is that makes an instant connection? The I-could-talk-for-hours-without-even-noticing quality.

And why is it that sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you just don't hit it off?

Or maybe it's just me....

14 comments:

  1. I'd like to nominate my relationship for #3 please!

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  2. Oh, we're definitely #3 although I wish we were #1! HA! HA! ;)

    I am not a "mixer" but tend to stand back and watch others: I am always surprised at who seems to "hook up" (for lack of a better term) as well. That reminds me, you've surprised me a time or two! :-D

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  3. I tell you what, I am in the same moving boat as you, although being in the military does that to you, whats your excuse? Totally kidding.. but this ward is hard to make friends in, then you are friends with people you never even thought of, and then the ones you thought you would hit it off with, you are glad you didnt. Whoops did I just say that... oh well! anyway, He liked much much much more than the tan! hahahaa oh he didnt care about the tan.. :)

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  4. BTW: Uh, em, seriously, I don't know how you feel about me, but could you not agree more that Brendan and David are soul mates?! I think so!!

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  5. Rebecca, I have always felt a connection to you and who would have thought an old one and a young one!!! Love ya and always will!

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  6. Its not you . . . its more like anyone else.

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  7. Or maybe we're just awe struck by your beauty and creativity :)

    I really think you are alot of fun.

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  8. I am totally with you on this one - that perfect connection is hard to find. My husband can get along and mesh with anyone but I dont just "click" with everyone. It is never who I would think I would mesh with. My husband included - but it just happened! I loved this post -

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  9. I think it is a prexistence thing for the connections. There are just some people we were meant to know, for whatever reason.

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  10. I know just what you are saying! I used to think that all those stats mattered(number of kids, age, hobbies) but our last move showed me I had it all wrong! It is a chemistry, a connection, not their waist size or hair color that puts me with someone.

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  11. One of my very dearest friends in the entire world wouldn't have been if I wouldn't have ended up sitting by her at a church meeting. I thought she looked all "homely" and her kids weren't all done up cute. She is the most talented, amazing, best person ever and how sad it would have been for her to come into my life at a time when she knew exactly what I needed. And still does even though we live hundreds of miles apart. She changed my "what I look for in a friend". No more judging a book by it's cover, that is for sure. I love your posts. I bet we'd be great friends....after all, we both chose the clarinet, right?? Actually, my mom chose it....

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  12. That whole "homely" comment and about her kids made me sound like I'm not the exact same way. Which I now am. And my kids mostly look like orphans. I'm comfortable with myself now, okay!

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  13. I finally read this and totally agree. that's why I love RS (even though I'm kicked out for a while). I love getting to know the "old" ladies that are hysterical underneath all those wrinkles!

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  14. are you refering to me considering number 2? It's cool. And true.
    So my question is- or assumption is- these new super pals; deaf blind mute?

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