Friday, February 13, 2009

Last Minute Shopping

Oh, Valentine's Day.
So many expectations.
So much pressure to prove your love.
Even though it marks the anniversary of our engagement 14 years ago, I'm not big on the whole gift thing. I know, I know, I don't really like people getting me gifts ever, but especially not on this holiday.
Is it a disease?
Is there something wrong with the woman side of my brain?
Women are supposed to like flowers. I think they're a waste of money.
Women are supposed to like diamonds. My favorite jewelry has no precious stones and is available at Target for $9.99. (Or less. Who are we kidding? )

So instead of complaining, begging my husband to puh-leze not worry about it, I've made a list.

Forget the chocolate. Leave the cards at the store.

Here's what I want:

* To know where the heck this book came from, and what the heck I should do with it.

I can't bring my self to throw it away when I know that some teacher somewhere is missing it from their set. Problem is that I don't know which one....and which state she teaches in. Utah? Arizona? Please tell me it's not California....5 years of it being in our possession unnoticed would be pathetic. But not impossible.

*Someone to sew on Jordan's boy scout patches. Properly. Like a good mother should have done to begin with. The lady at JoAnn fabrics directed me to this fabric tac because it would "hold up to anything".

Liar.

Big. Fat. Liar.

Now I'm gonna have to sew through crusty glue....and buy another number since the missing one really is missing. As in the "I can't find it" kind of missing.

* A good long nap.

With or without a cat. I'm not picky.

* To find the other "dragon" flop.

Everytime I think I've found it, I realize it's just the same one. Over and over again.

*A beautiful complexion.

Does anyone know if this stuff really works?

I hate it when people can tell what time of the month it is (or how much stress I've experienced that week) just by glancing at my face. It's like an invasion of privacy. And terribly rude.

* A storm door that stays clean.

Although it lets everybody who visits know exactly how tall our dog is.

And while we're at it, how about...

* A sham-wow for around her water bowl.

You know, the towel that holds like 1000 times it weight in liquid...or something like that. I've never actually watched the whole commercial since I feel like the guy is yelling at me. But it sure would come in handy here, since this retarded mentally impaired dog puts her whole face in the water when she gets a drink. She doesn't care about the quenching of her thirst, it's all about the plunging...head first, submerging everything up to her collar. Followed by the ceremonial dripping all over the tile floor.

Oooooo.....tile floors. Is it too late of notice to add those to my list?

Wouldn't they come in handy here? And here.

* A new bucket for Hayden to dig with.

Here's his old one. 'Nuff said.

Alright. 3 hours to go.

Don't worry - I'll totally act surprised.

14 comments:

  1. Hi. I read your blog every time you post something new and enjoy it alot. I love how you jump in and try new things in your decorating and I just enjoy your writing.

    I just had to pop in and tell you I have a water bowl for my dog just like the one you have and while I do not have a solution the water all over the floor AROUND the bowl, I do have a solution for the water that gets right under the bowl. I bought some rubber stoppers (rubber feet that are about as big as a quarter but about 3/4 to an inch thick) and glued them to the bottom of the bowl. They allow are to circulate under the bowl and the water dries up. You could probably use anything as long as they stay on and elevate it up off the floor.

    Thanks for the blog. It is very entertaining and you have a beautiful home and family.

    Claire
    Augusta, Ga

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hello--
    I love Proactive! It really helped me. BTW, I tried the Acne Free brand (the drugstore knock off of Proactive)and it didn't work for me. Proactive is one product I will not give up.

    ReplyDelete
  3. The shoe thing has happened to me with my 3 year-old on numerous occasions. Drives me crazy. How do we manage to lose just ONE shoe? Once, one was missing for several months. I finally found it under the seat in the car. Go figure.

    Hope you have a lovely Valentine's Day - no matter what you end up getting!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Rebecca.. as a LICENCED Estethician.... DONT USE PROACTIVE.. I know alot of people use it, but its soooo soooo sooo bad for your skin. it might be a quick fix, but it wont clear up your skin forever! seriously... if you want a little advice, I dont mind giving it... but dont waste your money!!!! But I LOVED this post, I think Flowers are a waste of money too.. although my husband is sending me flowers from California.. so I thought that was sweet, since he is out of state! BUT other than that.. I think Valetines day, is a retarded holiday!

    ReplyDelete
  5. okay the chica who posted before me will hate what i say. i totally loved proactive!!! it totally cleared up my crater face! b/c i don't use birth control anymore it breaks out like crazy and that is the ONLY thing that works. on the downside you have to keep using it as when you stop it will come back. but hey whatever!

    umm....totally have buckets, shoes, trash bags, and various other "treasures" like that in our yard from our 4 beasts!

    glad to see i am not the only person who would love to chuck the awful carpet! mine looks just like that too! one day there WILL be wood floors!

    oh and the shoe thing totally drives me crazy too. just come to grips with it-the dog has either eaten it or buried it! throw the flip flop away! you can do it! because you know once you do you'll find the mate! (buried in the backyard!)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Proactive works. It may fizzle out after a 6m or so but take a break and start up again later. But it's good stuff. Really. ShamWow's do not. I repeat-do not. It's just a plain old towel in ugly colors that won't, hopefully won't match your kitchen. Especially after you wash it. I have some really expensive dish rags now. Cool.
    Rebecca- for honest to gosh for real. We have a "special" dog too. I think it's all the inbreeding to make them....pure. Sorry that's just dog cousins having babies.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I am dreading scouts for the reason of having to 'sew' on those badges ect. Plus, scouting never ends, I think the moms should receive the rewards for nagging, I mean motivating their young scouters on to the ultimate Eagle award!
    Nathan gave me a tiny box of conversation hearts. So nice. Plus a chic flick that he actually watched and commented nicely on! True love.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Randall would never dare to buy me flowers because I also think they're a waste. As a matter of fact, he has a hard time buying me anything because he knows I'll be thinking in the back of my mind that I could have found it for half the price that he spent. Poor guy! Happy Valentines Day!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hey Rebecca, I love the proactive and have used it for 3 years! I am interested in what your friend says about it....why it is bad and what alternative she suggests since it has worked for me! Maybe it will be cheaper. Please share!!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I loved Proactive. I used it for a good year or so and don't need it anymore. I now only need to use Cetaphil. When I went on the Proactive I also went on a very low dose antibiotic and the combo was amazing. I ended the antibiotic and just continued the Proactiv. It probably doesn't work with everyone but I am so thankful I gave it a try.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Well.... what did you get? A nap at least???

    ReplyDelete
  12. Sham-Wow's are ugly, but we use them. They do hold a lot of liquid. Yes, over time they wear out. Luckily, they aren't very expensive. We got 2 big huge rolls for $20 and cut them up. My boyfriend now cleans just because he likes the Sham Wow.

    Pro-active wasn't any good for me, but some people swear by it. My miracle product was the acne treatment by Dr. Murad. www.murad.com

    ReplyDelete
  13. Don't use proactive! I used to work for a dermatologist and he said that it is bad for your skin and eventually quits working. I love AVON skincare. It really helped my skin. I use the ANEW line of products. I love your blog. It is so creative.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I just wanted to let you know that the other flip flop is at my house and I keep finding it over and over again too. Sigh.

    ReplyDelete