How To Catch A Squirrel
by Brendan Wisor
Step 1: Choose your weapon.
Step 2: Listen for the squirrel.
Make sure to keep your weapon hidden.
Don't worry that your weapon may not seem to be effective.
Or that the squirrel doesn't even appear to notice your efforts.
It's all about determination. And endurance.
Step 5: When your endurance is up and
step 4 has left you out of breath,
which should be in approximately 30 seconds
give or take,
ask the squirrel nicely to come down.
And promise him nuts.
a change of strategy may be necessary.