Take note of the beautiful chocolate milk mess down the front of his shirt from trying to chug it directly from the carton. Classy.
Here's another one of my favorites...
* Trying to steal candy from Lowes. We are at the register and I look over as he is shoving a big pack of Starburst under his shirt and holding it under his armpit (yum). "You said that you weren't going to buy me any candy, so I got it myself."
* Breaking merchandise at Hobby Lobby. He took off running and as I round the corner to catch him I hear, "1-2-3 GO!" as he drop kicks a ceramic soccer ball. Of course it shatters all over the floor and I'm trying to reason with him that we are NOT supposed to kick soccer balls. He looks at me as if he has the stupidest mother ever. Okay, so it's possible that he could be right on that count.
*Getting stranded at the elementary school. Long story, here's the summary: Three kids in a car. I walk across the parking lot to wave Jordan over to where the car is parked. Hayden slips out the side door, and although Camden sees him, says nothing. Jordan gets in car. We drive home. When we get home I tell Hayden to get out of the car and come inside. "Oh, he wanted to stay at the school I think," Camden says, matter of factly. No worries. Only like 10 adults hovering around him as we pull back up to the school, one of whom feels it necessary to shake her head and glare at me as I get out to retrieve him.
I think I need a nap.