Monday, January 5, 2015

fresh

I know that you don't have to wait for a new year to start over, but I cannot emphasize how freeing it is to say GOOD RIDDANCE to 2014.

In a competition of cryfests, last year won the title of Most Tears Shed In A Non-Postpartum Season of Life hands down. The last six months were filled with losing family members, 2 {husband} job changes, significant trials of faith...and yet none of those possessed the ability to rip my soul apart as violently as watching the demons of the world wreck havoc on my children. Battled one at a time I could have (WOULD HAVE!) survived, but bundled together and swirled into a storm so unrelenting and unyielding? Eventually the wind prevailed and I was dragged under. My naive confidence in my infinite optimism and symbolic badges of honor from past struggles conquered I clung to with foolish pride were no life raft and went down just as quickly as I did.

The depths of despair is a real place, y'all. I thought I had every room and hallway and nook and cranny memorized by heart. Turns out I had never been to the basement.




In the last few days there have been some glimmers of light. Distant outlines of hope and just-maybes on the horizon. For anybody out there deep in the trenches, know that you are not alone in your fight for a bit of happiness.


{Cinco de Mayo makes me happy.}

I didn't do Christmas cards for the 10th year in a row, and couldn't even muster up the strength to do a recap post/letter mash up because NOTHING REALLY MATTERS.

Instead of the caca poo poo that happened, how 'bout a few moments of 2014 joy?


1. Jordan turned 14, grew taller than me, and became Boy Who Makes Me Laugh The Most. Captured on film is his father trying desperately to steal that crown.


2. I seriously have slacked on the photo taking this year. Partly because the kids are getting older and refuse to be a part of my antics, but also because my point and shoot camera from 2005 makes me hate everything. My husband bought a camera my friend was getting rid of as a Christmas present for me which stirs up feelings of excitement (!!) and guilt (!!) because now I have no excuses for slacking. No doubt I will invent some.


3. My boss doesn't leave business postcards with his photo laying around anymore knowing that I always keep scissors and tape at my desk.


4. Sierra not only got me an awesome birthday gift, but also demonstrated the wisdom that she has gleaned from her silly mother: perfect meme = perfect wrapping. Doesn't matter that it's still in the mailing envelope because I LITERALLY cannot love it more.


5. YOU.

Thank you for sticking around here even though I can't commit to consistent posting.
Thank you for your encouraging words.
And thank you for reminding me that the world is full of super cool people. For reals.

Happy 2015.

Monday, December 22, 2014

X-Men & Minecraft & Pokemon, Oh My! {Gift Wrap With Swagger}

First a disclaimer: there is nothing wrong with going traditional when it comes to wrapping Christmas gifts. It's simple, fast, and doesn't require any extra thought.

Most of us don't have any brain cells to spare come December. Too often getting all those gifts covered up becomes one more thing on the never ending to-do list.

{clearance paper picked up at Target after xmas last year}


Understated and natural may be just the look you're going for.


Or maybe some (gasp!) CARTOON wrap a la Dollar Tree will feed perfectly into your child with autism's Charlie Brown obsession.



But sometimes you find yourself deep in the darkest forest of life from which it seems there is no escape. And the only respite you have, aside from newly discovered Trader Joe candy cane Jo-Jo's, is to create little packages of happiness to remind you that there is still some joy to be found. Right below the unicorn.

Isn't that always the way?


{easy loopy paper bow directions here}


"What kind of monster are you?"

Yellow construction paper, and some freehanded black pieces.


You know what else is great for coping with unfixable trials in life? Bingewatching Bob's Burgers.

{To get Louise so big, she got cropped in two and printed on cardstock full page. They're cut out and glued together right on the neck of her dress. No seams and perfectly popping out ears.}

We talked about my love for half and half wrapping years ago. This time instead of covering where they meet in the middle with pretty ribbon, a strip of black paper does the job.

"I wanna be the very best..."

Recycled calendar pages get some Christmas Cheer topped with jingle bells. As a general rule of thumb, if you present makes noise when you shake it, nobody will notice that your yarn doesn't perfectly match the forest green in the plaid paper. Seriously people - relax already.




And lastly we have the second most popular animal associated with Christmas {right behind the unicorn}: the octopus. I am kicking myself for not gluing googly eyes on this. Rookie mistake.


From the Wisor home to yours, we wish you a season filled with much happiness, joy, and family togetherness. MERRY CHRISTMAS!


Sunday, December 7, 2014

A Unicorn Christmas Tree: They Don't Believe In You Either



Sometimes when my husband asks for "disturbing" unicorn masks to be gotten rid of, what I *really* hear him asking is "Can this be the centerpiece of our Christmas celebration?"

And the answer is yes. Yes it can.

Behold the MAGIC of the season. My attempt at a traditional Christmas tree, keeping to a more neutral palette. I think it's a success.



Disclaimer: it's not really a unicorn. It's a horse with a sword on it's head to guard my hopes and dreams. Something so majestic will ALWAYS be welcome in our home.

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

a {chalkboard} thankful tree

Maybe it's because visual reminders of our blessings make me happy.

Maybe it's because my dream job is to run a preschool...without the teaching and dealing with toddler part.

Or maybe it's just withdrawals, as it's now holiday time and there's no store to decorate.

Whatever the case, 'tis the season.


 It truly doesn't get much easier than this.

Gather up some fall leaf colored construction paper.

If you live in Texas you'll have to choose those colors from memory, as the trees here STILL HAVEN'T CHANGED.


We did a "leaf template" image search, picked out a shape we liked, then put the piece of paper directly over the laptop screen and traced the image to make the pattern. One must eliminate walking 30 feet to connect the printer - crafting will not tolerate such interruptions.

Trace that pattern piece a bunch o' times on your colored paper.


Stacking several sheets of paper on top of each other to cut all at once will make this go way faster. So will having a smaller family, thereby needing less leaves.
If you have some sort of electronic cutting device, here is where you can get all show off-y and make it go really quick.



Since everything up to this point was so simple, we had to add a bit of flair. I folded the leaves in half to give them a spine, and then curled the edges with scissors (sorta like you would curling ribbon) because I'm a foodie and like my leaves to have a little flavor.
















Happy Thanksgiving.

Monday, November 17, 2014

38

Things currently swirling around in my head as I turn one year older:

1. I used to think that older folks "forgot" how old they were because they were either embarrassed or in denial. And then this year happened, where I couldn't remember how old I am without doing the math, and subsequently have been telling people "38" for at least 6 months. Which tells you that math wasn't my best subject.

2. I've never been into watercolors (too delicate), but this "watercolor" wrapping paper is rocking my world.

from here - although if you paid that much for paper, how could you ever actually use it?

3. Cherry Limeade from Sonic used to be my favorite, but then I tried the Strawberry. Now I can't switch back.


4. Sierra was horrified last week when she realized that all "her" car dance moves look just like mine.


5. She also laughed remembering driving around with my sister back on our California trip and how she saw her do the EXACT SAME MOTIONS AT THE EXACT SAME PLACE in a song that came on the radio. "It's like you and Aunt Liz are the same person." Can't fight nature (nurture?)


6. My youngest sits down at the back desk to do his homework every day. A few days ago I went to get an envelope from the drawer and saw this:

Instead of a tissue, just wipe your boogers on furniture. As one does.

7. He was sent to clean up the mess, and after coming in and proclaiming that the green scrubby sponge wouldn't budge the fossilized snot, he took a (steak) knife to help loosen things up. "You'll have to fix the paint...it kinda left a mark."




8. Please tell me when this "bootie" fad will go away. You know those shoes that are half boots/half stupid? I didn't like them in the 80's, I don't like them now. They are dumb. Please stop taking photos of them and clogging up instagram. Also, enough with the scarves already. They are and always will be something that your preppy sister (love you, Khristie!) and mother wore in 1991.

{cruise photo where I made my mom so happy by not wearing black lipstick, if only for an evening}

9. Speaking of fashion and instagram, I hereby confess that I unfollowed someone this week after she captioned a photo of her wearing colored pants, saying something about needing to donate them because they aren't in style anymore. Is this actually a thing? You buy something because everyone is wearing it, and then a year later you can't wear it anymore? I cannot subscribe to such nonsense.

10. 98% of the time I come home empty handed after attempting to buy clothes because I can't find anything that I like. Roger calls it picky, I call it CLASSIC. Get what you like and it'll work forever.

(which prolly just means it was never in style in the first place. Make me care.)

My sisters wedding in 2003. First of all, only four babies! Second of all, that 11 year old skirt gets worn to work all the time.

11. All this "can you believe how ugly the people's clothes are nowadays" ranting confirms that I am making the transition into an old, crummudgeny woman quite seemlessly.




12. Cold weather has officially arrived, marking the end of the annual Summer Slump. Imagine how validating it was to read this study and discover that I'm not alone. Yes, there is such a thing as reverse SAD. Maybe it comes from growing up in Fresno, one of the sunniest places on the planet?

13. Although I hate all things scary, gory, and gross, Halloween is my jam. It's one of the only times of year you can dress up and it not be frowned upon as childish. At least out loud. When I am an old woman, I will have a whole closet devoted to a menagerie of wigs. The style for the day will depend on my mood and it will be SO FUN. And yes, that jet black bob from that cruise photo above will be one of them. Until then, there is always October 31st.

Unicorn + jersey = Fantasy Football

14.  Nobody else in my office dressed up.


15. I don't drink, but am dying over these wine bottle Ugly Christmas Sweater "outfits" at World Market.


They have a flapper and zoot suit version too. How could you ever choose??




And now...my birthday request of you. An informal poll, if you will.

It has come to my attention that not all girls take the same amount of time to get ready for the day (Allison).

Turns out I was delusional in thinking that my 28 minute rolling-out-of-bed to rolling-out-of-the-driveway morning schedule was more or less average, but come to find out that's quick? Or maybe it just depends on who you're asking. So I am. Asking, that is. It's little tidbits of information like this about people that fascinate me. Indulge me and give me a peek into your life. Taking a shower, blow drying your hair, putting makeup on - the whole shebang. How long does it take?